MOVIE REVIEW - Star Wars: Clone Wars

Bigfoot see CLONE WARS.  Bigfoot like little bit, but Lil'Bigfoot like lotta bit.


Bigfoot sad because realize he no longer target audience for George Lucas.  Bigfoot hatch from egg 40 year ago.  Nobody make movie for Bigfoot anymore.  Not cartoon movie anyway.  Lil'Bigfoot is girl. Lil'Bigfoot is 11 year old.  George Lucas make cartoon Star Wars for Lil'Bigfoot.  This make Lil'Bigfoot love CLONE WARS.

Bigfoot invited to press screening because he famous blogger (and know someone at radio station) Bigfoot allowed "plus one" so he invite Lil'Bigfoot because Lil'Bigfoot like Star Wars.  This screening big event because many nerd dress up as Star Wars character and some look just like actual character.  One man have remote control R2D2 that exact copy of real R2D2 (Bigfoot know that R2D2 not "real" he mean movie R2D2) R2D2 man have little boy dress like Jedi.  Little Boy cute.  Grown man dress like Jedi - not so cute.  One nerdette dress in Princess Lea golden bikini - very cute.  This one Bigfoot favorite - but R2D2 come close second.

Movie not start with crawl like regular Star Wars move - very beginning have "Long time ago in galaxy far far away..." and then Star Wars music - but no words telling story going back into star field.  Just voice tell story so far.  Seem like odd choice to Bigfoot - but he guess that need to show event in cartoon form as narrator say instead of word crawl because cartoon Yoda maybe confuse total idiot if not see and have narrator explain that this way Yoda look now.

Another thing confuse Bigfoot.  Samuel L. Jackson available to do Mace Windu voice but other actors not do cartoon voice?  What guy who play Chancelor Palpatine doing that he can't do own voice?  He busy play evil old man in potato chip commercial?  Not make sense.

Another thing confuse Bigfoot. If R2D2 can fly, why not he fly in first Star Wars movie?  Why not he fly all time? If Bigfoot can fly, he fly all time everywhere.  R2D2 at least as smart as Bigfoot. Bigfoot call "Bullshit" on R2D2 flying.

Another thing confuse Bigfoot.  If Jabba Hutt only speak Jabba Hutt language, why Jabba Hutt Uncle speak English.  And why Jabba Hutt Uncle speak English and sound like Truman Capote / gay version Mr. Peterson from Bob Newhart Show?

Bigfoot think animators do good job creating viable cartoon Star Wars universe. Script pretty good but dialogue as clunky as live action Star Wars film.  Bigfoot like new characters - but Anikin Skywalker new padawan little bit much.  Lil'Bigfoot like girl Jedi. Girl Jedi remind Bigfoot of Lil'Bigfoot in many way.  Bigfoot think George Lucas make Girl Jedi focus of new series.  Not sure how this work?  Girl Jedi die before REVENGE OF SITH?  Cartoon Network OK with this?  Not make sense if "Snips" (as Anikin call) just disappear or go off to college at end of series and not die.  Why would not Obi Wan or Yoda recall when think they are last 2 Jedi? "  Oh yeah... What about Snips - she Jedi!"

Bigfoot like every action scene.  This well done. Bigfoot have very, very high hopes for TV series. This appointment TV.  Bigfoot think film OK - Lil'Hacksaurus think film fantastic.  Lil'Bigfoot 11 year old girl.

LONG STORY SHORT:  Bigfoot like CLONE WARS.

CONCERT REVIEW - American Idols Live 2008

Bigfoot go to see AMERICAN IDOLS LIVE with Lil’ Bigfoot and her friends. Bigfoot like - sort of (like some acts but not like some).


Concert birthday present for Lil’Bigfoot. Bigfoot agree to take girls early to try meet idols and get autograph.

Bigfoot leave house at noon for 7PM concert. Bigfoot drive 50 mile to arena. Whole time Bigfoot drive girls chatter each other like monkey.

Actual transcript of 11-year-old girl conversation in back seat of Bigfoot car:

Yak yak yak yak yak David Archuletta yak yak yak yak yak David Archuletta Yak yak yak yak yak American Idol yak yak yak yak yak soulja boy yak yak yak yak yak yak Carly Smithson yak yak that song, you know yak yak David Archuletta yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak crank that yo yak yak yak yak yak David Cook yak yak yak…

Bigfoot get to arena before Idol bus. Idol bus come. Some Idols give autograph, let take picture. Ramiele Malubay first one give autograph. Kristy Lee Cook give autograph and also let take picture with Lil’Bigfoot and friends. David Cook and Carly Smithson come out for autograph but not come to Lil’Bigfoot. David Archuletta come to everyone. David Archuletta very nice, but not take picture.
Security guard tell people no more autograph.

Bigfoot take girls to Arby’s. Girl who work at Arby’s look just like Carly Smithson. Even have tattoos like Carly. Hacksaurus tell Lil’Bigfoot he take picture of all girls with Carly Smithson look-a-like girl who Bigfoot call “Arby Smithson”. Lil’Bigfoot not think good idea because real Carly Smithson not wear Arby’s Uniform. Bigfoot take girls back to arena for concert.

Concert go like this: Every Idol sing three song. Chikezie sing first because he Idol number 10. Then each Idol sing in order of get cut from show. Six Idol sing before intermission. Carly Smithson best one sing before intermission. She have strong voice and good stage presence. Carly is rocker and music not best match for Hannah Montana/Jonas Brothers crowd that make up ¾ of American Idol concert audience. Michael Johns also sing rock – but more in David Cassidy way than in real rock way. He have good voice and big hit with teeny bopper girls.

Intermission have very lame Guitar Hero battle. It go on way too long. MC of intermission have good stage presence and good sense of humor. He try keep it fun.

After intermission, Jason Castro and David Archuletta have strongest segments. Jason Castro only Idol that Bigfoot he buy CD from in future. This have more to do with Bigfoot taste in music than Jason Castro musical ability. Jason not have strongest voice and him have clumsy delivery. Jason Castro sound unique and entertaining. Jason Castro play ukulele and hum/sing and sound fill arena with 15,000 people. Not full band – just one weenie boy and toy guitar. That talent in Bigfoot book.

David Archuletta not only nice but also sing best. Sing too many slow song for Bigfoot but sing them well. David Archuletta project star power. David Archuletta young but Bigfoot predict long and storied music career. Bigfoot think that thirty years in future – David Archuletta big name like Elvis and American Idol just TV Show people used to watch back when people still watch TV.

David Cook go last. David Cook have good voice, but come off like big bag of douche. David Cook stand with arms folded like Mussolini. David Cook point microphone at crown to finish song lyrics (Bigfoot know this normal thing that singer do – but David Cook do it like he tired of sing crap song and make audience sing now) David Cook maybe nice guy but fame go to head Bigfoot think.

At end all Idols sing song about not stop music and take bow.

After concert Bigfoot wait by stage door with girls. Lil’Bigfoot get every autograph except David Cook and Chikezie. Bigfoot wonder why Chikezie not sign autograph – David Cook maybe look forward to graduate to higher class of fan than 11 year old girls. Bigfoot think Chikezie sing good but need every fan can get. Still, it long tour and maybe Chikezie good guy but have digestive issues from tour bus food.

MOVIE REVIEW - The Love Guru

Bigfoot see THE LOVE GURU. Bigfoot not like.  Bigfoot not like A LOT.  Bigfoot mad.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Bigfoot waste almost $40 because he take Lil’ Bigfoot to see movie.  Bigfoot have bad feeling about movie – but trailer look funny and Lil’ Bigfoot beg to see. Lil' Bigfoot think movie OK.

PERSPECTIVE:  Lil’ Bigfoot think FANTASTIC FOUR 2: RISE OF SILVER SURFER best movie ever made.  It have everything.

LOVE GURU not have everything.  LOVE GURU especially not have laughs.  Bigfoot not like pay $40 to charity chuckle at movie. Only one really funny line in entire movie come at end in out-takes. Bigfoot think story not make sense.  Uneven – writer go to lengths to explain why woman own NHL hockey team and not explain at all how midget get to be coach of professional ice hockey team.

If Bigfoot was Indian, Bigfoot want to kick Mike Myers in nuts.  Bigfoot think that whole movie have thread of Bugs Bunny-type racism.  Bigfoot think BLAZING SADDLES racism funnier because it more honest. Bigfoot wonder if LOVE GURU released in India.  Maybe funnier with subtitles like Jerry Lewis in France. Bigfoot suspect movie hurt US/India relation just the same.  Bigfoot also suspect that reader question Bigfoot's judgment on racism given above “midget” comment.  Bigfoot make amend.  Why not script explain why LITTLE PERSON coach professional ice hockey team? Not because person little – but because little person not have professional ice hockey experience.

Bigfoot enjoy occasional smile at movie and Lil’ Bigfoot laugh many times.  Lil' Bigfoot at age when poop jokes hysterical.   Bigfoot think that Justin Timberlake funniest actor in movie and he not comedian. Bigfoot also like Bollywood take-off.   Bigfoot like about 7 minutes of 90 minute movie.

LONG STORY SHORT:  Bigfoot not rush out to see next Mike Myers movie – unless it AUSTIN POWERS: YOU ONLY SHAG TWICE or SHREK 4.

MOVIE REVIEW - The Incredible Hulk

Bigfoot see INCREDIBLE HULK. Bigfoot like.

Bigfoot not like last Hulk. Last Hulk sad. Bigfoot like TV Hulk and love comic book Hulk. Bigfoot think that latest Hulk movie closer to TV Hulk than comic book Hulk. Lil’ Bigfoot not know TV Hulk or comic book Hulk. She only know TV Cartoon Hulk. She think that latest movie Hulk WAY better than TV cartoon Hulk.

Bigfoot agree.

Bigfoot think that Edward Norton very good actor. He make good Bruce Banner. He act like scientist who try to solve problem of turn into Hulk. He not cry in his teacup. Bigfoot think that Liv Tyler do good job as Betty Ross but only thing Bigfoot like about last HULK movie was Jennifer Connolly as Betty Ross. Why not bring back to Betty Ross in new HULK movie? Lou Ferrigno play security guard in both movies.

Bigfoot think that Tim Roth and William Hurt both do good job as movie villains. But Bigfoot keep confuse William Hurt character in HULK with Jeff Bridges character in IRON MAN. Seem same character. Maybe just Bigfoot think this way. Lil’Bigfoot not see IRON MAN so Bigfoot not ask her opinion.

Bigfoot like way Hulk talk. Hulk talk good – like Bigfoot.
Bigfoot also like two big battle scenes and multiple call out to TV Hulk and Stan Lee cameo. Bigfoot like Hulk response when villain ask “Any last words?”

LONG STORY SHORT:  Bigfoot like INCREDIBLE HULK.